In the beginning of 2026, Millennial and GenZ women had a reckoning of sorts. In a collective exhale, we’ve seen how our girlhood was shaped by depraved, insidious men, who set out to make us renounce ourselves, hoping we’d be easier to abuse. Maybe you read hundreds of malicious, cruel emails. Maybe you watched the ANTM documentary. You probably were gaslit into believing it was a moral failure not to fit into a 00 low-rise jean. You might have realized the beauty, fashion, religious, and entertainment industries are complicit. Who would you have been, if you hadn’t absorbed these messages at such a young age? What would you have been drawn to instead, if you weren’t programmed to exist for the male-gaze? I think there’s still time to find out. I don’t think we have to default on our girlhoods. We can change how we talk to ourselves and each other. We can explore the facets of ourselves we were told were silly and unnecessary, because men found no value in them.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I believe horse girls get ridiculed because we chose a hobby that empowered us and decentered men. I remember the first time I realized I could lead myself AND a 1200lb animal with direct communication and kindness—I felt like Daenerys Targaryen. After that, I didn’t care about looking pretty or getting the attention of my male classmates. I only wanted to learn how to be a better horsewoman. Not only did boys find this weird, they found it boring. My horse shows were not sexually provocative. At the barn, I was routinely covered in dirt and horse snot. I chose mucking actual horse shit over male attention. And the one time a boy my age did corner me at the barn to ask me out after I said no, I cracked a longe whip two-inches from his face and said, “Next time I won’t miss.” Women who know themselves are dangerous to patriarchy.

So find yourself, be yourself, let people watch and call it cringe. It doesn’t matter. Wear literally whatever you want, just because you want to. You don’t have to call the books, movies, music, and art you like “guilty pleasures,” simply because they’re beloved by women. You can say you like something just because you enjoy it, that’s enough. That’s what matters. No one gets to steal you from you. When the horrors of standing in the male-gaze close in on you, remind yourself you can step out of it. You have more power than you’ve been told. Why do you think they went through all this effort?